Starting Calm Systems: Creating a Home for All of Me

I’m starting this journal because I needed a place to put all of me.

For as long as I can remember, my mind has been a whirlwind — of emotions, thoughts, ideas, and plans. It’s loud in here. Every day, I feel pulled in a million directions — not just by responsibilities, but by passions. I’ve always had a hard time narrowing myself down.

When I was little, I wanted to be a marine biologist. And an ice skater. And an astronomer.

In high school, it was a psychologist. A cheer coach. A criminologist.

I grew up on a ranch in rural Utah and loved horses and dirt roads.

But I also dreamed of living on a beach, raising babies, learning to surf.

My dad was an entrepreneur who started one business after another, and I thought — maybe I’d do that too.

Or maybe I’d do all of it.

And I’ve tried.

I’ve studied psychology, served a mission in Peru, worked full-time for a family business, been a student, a wife, a mother, a manager, a homemaker, a dreamer.

But I never found one lane that made sense of it all. And I never found a system that could hold the weight of everything I was carrying.

So much of my life has been shaped by two things: deep care… and deep overwhelm.

I’ve always cared — deeply — about people, about purpose, about doing things right. But that kind of care, when it’s not grounded, can be exhausting. Especially when you become a mother. Especially when you’ve battled depression and anxiety for years. Especially when you want to give your best to everyone and everything — but your body and brain feel like they’re breaking under the pressure.

That was me.

During my first pregnancy, I was finishing school, working full-time, interning, and completely unraveling inside. I gained 60 pounds. I had suicidal thoughts. I felt like I was disappearing.

Motherhood rocked me in every possible way — physically, mentally, spiritually.

And after trying every medication under the sun, with side effects that made things worse, I realized I needed a different approach.

It didn’t happen overnight. But little by little, I started making changes. I focused on my physical health. I adjusted my diet. I started asking deeper questions about my nervous system, my patterns, my burnout. I stopped trying to “fix” everything and startd asking how I could support myself instead.

And that’s what led me here — to Calm Systems.

Calm Systems isn’t just a blog. It’s a place for people like me — people with too many tabs open in their brain, too many dreams in their heart, and too little time or clarity to do it all well. It’s where I share the systems I’ve built (and still build) to help me manage my life as a mom, wife, creative, business owner, homemaker, and human healing in real time.

This is where I’ll show up honestly — with the rhythms I’ve created, the lessons I’m learning, the breakdowns and breakthroughs.

Because I believe we don’t need to shrink ourselves to survive. We need stronger systems to carry the weight of who we really are.

Welcome to Calm Systems. I’m so glad you’re here.